Opening a letter addressed from the Home Office seems an inherently nervous affair. Having to sign for the delivery and seeing the envelope sealed with a very officious looking sticker suggests its contents contain something not to be taken lightly, that it holds information of very serious consequences. For Nessie, it certainly did. The Home Office had decided that the application was ‘inappropriate’, refusing to grant Nessie agency and simultaneously refusing her the right to permanent residency in the UK. This is obviously a great shock to us, given how long Nessie has lived here and how integral she is to the very idea of ‘Scottishness’. Furthermore, the Home Office gave us no right to appeal the decision, returning the application and refunding the fee to us in full. Obviously we are not the only ones outraged at this, and already a fuss has kicked up after we took this story to the press in protest. It seems that our best option now is to find somewhere else for Nessie to live. A new lake, preferably in Europe, which matches the conditions of Loch Ness suitably. Hopefully, Nessie’s friends and supporters around the world, of which there seems a fair few, can help us to discover the perfect lake. Any suggestions would be most welcome, and can be made through the website.